do ashes belong more than a pheonix does?

do ashes belong more than a pheonix does?
and if i were to turn to ash
at least i would be remembered...
significant, even if only in memory -
in memory you'd even depend on me i think...
...and be scared perhaps to lose
and hold on stronger, not for m - but your own self -
being ash - would be nice...

there was this path that we lost each other on
and have now lost the path
i wonder sometimes if we should have thrown pebbles
to trace ourselves back
to wherever we began
and then i wonder if you
will find another path
that twists and turns but returns
to me
and i tell myself
don't wait
don't wait
don't wait, don't wait, don't wait,

but if i found life again
will you fly with me?

and this question means nothing
for if i find life again
you would be flying with me
how else would i be alive?
how else - could i - be alive?

fire

There is this thing to fire
that it purifies
somehow...
for every time i have burnt
and come out alive
...or at least alive in bits
i have felt
something unnecessary
dissolve
something meaningless
find meaning
pain find lessons
joy find longevity
that can no longer be taken away
and that would forever now stay with me

there is this thing about fire.
may i never forget that i loved.
and may i love forever
even if i burn - forever.

there is this thing about fire.
it makes you brave
it cleanses the soul
do i strive to survive?
or to be purified?
merely survive? merely purified?
or more?
at the end...if there is one...
will i be a pheonix?
or ashes - merely?
at the end
if there is one...

a drifting bird

I am still a drifting bird
no idea of fight or flight
i believe, i love and i hurt still
i feel pain just as i feel delight

one moment i suffer with suffering
at another i hold on to self
yet another i forget myself, to hold another
yet another i weep, for every pinch ever felt

i tell myself i believe
and in moments it is true
i do believe in goodness and life
perhaps not myself so much anymore

battered simply coz i chose to feel
what the world chooses to shut down
perhaps as i grow old my friend
i will have a permanent frown

but believe me i will still tell the world
give love a chance, believe
be open, talk, trust, don't be scared of hurt
make bridges, sculpt, write, weave...

open your arms, even if they feel tired
open your arms, even as you cry
open your arms, for love not pain
even if u r the last, try....

i believe in the truth, even when it hurts
i believe in love's power to heal
i can let go, coz i know how to love
yet i cant let go, i bleed

but as i said, i m a drifting bird
almost absent-minded in fight or flight
i believe, i love, somehow i do
i feel pain, i hope - to feel - delight!