If you know me personally, read this first...
I think I owe people/friends this explanation, and I am making a page and not a post of it so it’s always right there to read and does not get lost in the categories….
A lot of people I know have serious reservations and sometimes even objection to ‘wearing your emotions on your sleeve.’
Truth or true feelings (because I am not sure about the objectivity of truth at all times) are not a very convenient thing, to others and more often than not even to our own selves… we tend to shut ourselves off almost unconsciously, automatically. We operate from several defensive positions and make our walls accordingly. Some of us just keep to ourselves, some of us stay on the offensive all the time without realizing it and keep wrapping the offensiveness into meaningful explanations. Some of us develop a sense of humour and/or a lifestyle that doesn’t require a “talking to ourselves process” of this kind. And some simply, as my father says “make a face to meet a face”. (I never learned the fine art of making the face… sometimes I wish I did, but overall I am happy that I did not.)
Even though I declared the opening of this blog on my face book, its audience is not my friends. I don’t think there is any specific audience, there never was - other than the times when I wrote for love… I write for myself because it helps me be… it’s the only way really, that I know to be… I have been accused of too many words, somehow people miss that they are never mere words, they are who I am, I am because of them, and they are what they are because of who I am, people miss my relationship with my words, they just don’t see it at times… this blog is about that relationship.
This blog is about my discovering my own processes, my talking to me and to a larger universe. Why I choose a public forum though, to express states of mind that might be too personal, is because I think somehow, the universe now, would rather, that I choose this medium…we can all do with more openness in our lives too! I don’t think sharing any of it makes it any less personal… it subjects me to opinions, which is fine maybe... maybe not… when it is not I will cross that bridge then…maybe I will learn thorough the interaction, may be through the monologue, maybe by rediscovering a hidden feeling, may be by revisiting an old anger or happiness….this blog is about my discovering my own processes.
If in a state of mind, at a given day and time, I write a blog that’s addressed to someone or is about someone… I promise for the sake of that person and their circumstance that I will never take names. People, who might know the circumstance otherwise, might know who is being talked about, but that I cannot help… but I will not take names that way.
And when I do write my autobiography, I will change names I promise (though how I will find so many names is beyond me, maybe I will interchange some of your names and completely confuse you).
